Tienes el Nopal pintado en la frente...

I am very disappointed in myself!!! I cant believe that I am forgetting my spanish,....i feel like crap and i feel so bad and stupid and theres simply no words to describe it. I mean i dont know how....my parents dont speak one word of English, nor my grandparents and i seem to somehow manage to talk to them, even if a stutter, speak in both languages, talk "mocho", incorrect Spanish, Spanglish or whatever it is that u want to call it, but i always find a way to communicate with them and they seem to understand me. I had already noticed it before, and most of my friends are the same as me, they are forgetting how to "Correctly" speak in Spanish. Its like my boyfriend says "Tienes el nopal pintado en la frente", and i know that, and i still dont know how i'm forgetting it. I am from mexican decent, and used to speak fluent Spanish, not anymore, but i still do.

And today was when i had my major reality shock that i am so stupid, and dumb and i'm so angry at myself. We went on our annual recruitment project to middle schools and i saw my friends stuttering to speak in Spanish, so here i go, to her rescue when to my surprise i couldn't speak to these girls in Spanish. I was struggling, and had to pause for seconds at a time to try and gather my thoughts to try and speak to them...cuz they didnt know any english...why o why am i coming to this point? Me siento tan mal...